Recently, I ran into a hurdle with my organization Cheti.
The journey to, over, and past this obstacle has been as much a discovery of myself
as it was of others. I have seen that during the last three years I have been so concerned with moving things forward that I never
gave myself the time I needed to evaluate. It is through this journey that I
have finally been able to reflect.
This post is the start to a short series on the lessons I
learned through this experience. The lessons may seem self-explanatory, and if so –
congrats; you are smarter than me. But hopefully they prove valuable to others
who are just starting in this journey or find themselves in similar positions.
The first and most important lesson is to put YOU first.
This seems strange since we all focus on the impoverished
communities we aim to assist, the individuals who deserve so much more than they have, how fortunate we are to have opportunities, and
how we should all take a giant leap of faith to assist others.
But what I rarely hear about is the importance of
maintaining a well-balanced lifestyle, keeping our sanity, resting, and
fostering and embracing all of our personal interests. When I first started
Cheti, I saw it as a side project and still maintained a social life, a
full-time job, other interests and hobbies. Quickly all of this changed. I quit
my job to pursue my passion, and like a flash; Cheti became my life.
I was passionate, I was dedicated, and I believed
full-heartedly in my mission. Who could stop me, and why would you? I was
making moves. Cheti was growing. The number of child sponsors we acquired
continued to grow, our team was expanding, our revenue was tripling annually, and
our partnerships were strengthening. Yet what I failed to see was what was
happening to my life.
There is no question you need to be a dedicated workhorse to
accomplish entrepreneurial success, but you must find a balance or you risk
loosing it all.
For example, all of my personal passwords were related to my
organization. I wasn’t able to attend four of my good friend’s weddings, (one
of which, I was in!), because I was too broke, again, due to my dedication
to Cheti. I quit my full-time job twice. I moved in with my parents and lived in a 50+ retirement condo. I spent endless hours, days, weekends
“in” because I had to finish that PowerPoint, or launch a brand new program. I
stopped having anything interesting to read or talk about that didn’t involve
poverty in Africa, education, or social impact. I had to start babysitting again at
the age of 27 to pay rent. I lost touch with people I used to call best
friends and frustrated my boyfriend with my barely-there existence. I forgot
about my interest in the arts, my passion for dance, and my need for a close
circle of friends. I gave my organization everything I had: my time, my money,
my heart, my passion, my "career", my motivation, and my drive.
This all sounds so inspiring, doesn’t it? That is, until you
realize how quickly this lifestyle can burn you out. After years of this dedication, it does not take much to tip you over the breaking point. If you have ever been
there, you know exactly what I mean. You feel depressed. You are exhausted
mentally and physically. The gym is a stretch and you spend hours a day searching
Pinterest for the inspiration you used to breathe out. You are disappointed in
yourself for loosing interest in something that you believed was your life’s
work. You believe your efforts were a waste. You find it impossible to make decisions or take steps in any sort of a
direction. It physically hurts you when people ask about your work.
It sucks.
The point of this article is to prove how invaluable it
is to yourself, the people you are trying to help, and the world as a whole, to
respect yourself and the impact you are making enough to put yourself first. You cannot do
anyone any good if you are drowning in a pool of self-inflicted misery in your
bed.
So it is with great pleasure, a new mindset, and a
work-in-progress “pinspiration” board, that I give you my #1 lesson: in the
business of helping others, put yourself first.
