Searching For That Place Called “Home”

source: diaryofashoeaddict.blogspot.com

I’ve moved around a lot. Probably no more than the “average” in this day and age, but enough for me to feel confused about where I am from, where “home” is, and where I ultimately belong.

I’m from Northern Virginia and by that I mean I lived there for most of my childhood, have my happiest memories, and feel that nostalgic sense of belonging. However since then, I’ve moved to Orlando, to NYC, and back to Florida.

A large majority of my friends and acquaintances seem to follow this type of path, while a select few never left where they were originally planted. Is it better to never leave one place, or never know where home is? When does the moving around end? Where are we supposed to "settle"?

I know the answer is wherever we want to “settle”, if we want to “settle”. But the paradox of choice sets in and just leaves me more unsettled. I have this overwhelming concern that I will never attain that full-contentment, or that I will always feel like I could be happier in another place. You see, after high-school my parents moved to Florida. I pretend like I can’t stand Florida and every time I’m there feel the urge to leave as soon as possible. (In my defense, it is extremely hot and I am very pale. The two will never mix well).  So after my second-term living in the Sunshine-state, my then boyfriend and I decided to move back to the Northern Virginia area.

I was sure that I would feel like I was home. I would be back on my old turf, chock-full of good memories and favorite places to create new ones.

But it didn’t. My family was no longer there and that ultimate feeling I was looking for no longer existed. So my now fiance and I, have since decided to move on again and try something new all together… Connecticut. 

(We are hoping the idyllic views, lesser chance of sunburn, and smaller-town feel will be just what we need in this new chapter… if nothing else, we'll get some great photos...)

source: www.virtualcities.com 

I used to thrive off the excitement of new chapters, new friends, different experiences, and new stories to write in my hypothetical novel that I would hypothetically write one day about my life-adventures. But now that I am “old,” I just want to find home.

I want to belong to a community. To have close family around that can help when you’re in a bind. I want good friends that I can relate to, cook dinners with, and laugh over good wine. I want to feel secure, safe, and happy. After talking to many friends, I do not think I am alone in this search.

How can we be blamed for this confusion and endless hunt? Our culture promotes moving around. We are practically pushed out of our high-school desks into the wild and told to pick a good-looking college. We can pick any one of the schools, in any one of the fifty states to apply to. Once we are through college, we are urged to get the best job in the best city. Not our city; the other city. We are constantly moving, constantly searching for a better cost of living, better job opportunities, and improved “quality of life”.

The problem is now that no one is ever actually invested in a particular community. We are all just passing through; waiting for the next opportunity and next move. It is why small businesses around the country are failing, and why no one feels the extra buck is worth purchasing locally grown foods. It’s why Thanksgiving is the most obnoxious time to travel. And why we are lucky if Christmas break allows one day with our families. Gone are the days we knew the shop-owners down the street, and the farmers who grew our food. We have moved past the village mentally; believing whole-heartedly that our own independence is all we need.  We have become so busy focusing on our own short-term happiness that we leave our homes in search of better houses.

Our society has physically grown apart.

I realize this may not resonate with some of you as you’ve found your home. Maybe it was not the first place you lived, but you ultimately found where you love living. I hope we all can find and reside in a place we love; a place that encourages us to give back to our communities, invest in our neighborhoods, and better our homes for future generations.

As I start this new chapter, in this new town, in this new state… I wonder if I can really be the change I'm preaching or if society has pervaded my perceptions too far and I will continue on in this search for a place called "home". 

What do you think? Have you found "home"? What does "home" mean to you?